na nanananaa

that song is good. the nananas remind me of epro.

shit i am soo exhausted. i should be relishing in this moment. last time ever i will take a 0/1/2 final at south. a serious one anyways. crazy. but instead im like falling off my chair. this sudafed didn't really wake me up at all i guess i need some real stimulants.. nothing to brag about there.

i hope i do good tomorrow. i think i deserve straights As once. better late than never.

Noise: franz ferdinand

not again. really? hm so im like going through my sad thing. again. its as if straight As are an omen for me. if you see me moping about give me a good ol "snap the fuck out of it" or "god amelia I'm gonna punch you in the face if you dont stop crying" or like "at least you have food to eat people are dying you unappreciative sad excuse for life" it would be very helpful. also a large sum of money would be great. I need to get the fuck away from here but a trip is out of the question. I think the day after finals im just going to get more and more fucked up until I reach an alternate universe. if you wanna join me let me know. or I'll just be in a corner listening to some gypsy music nursing a bottle. actually I think thatll happen either way.

and how do you make these damn things private? this journal is supposed to be 'friends only' :/

that this week's sole purpose has been
to kill my perception of what I am now,
and force me to revert to what I used to be.

that's my reasoning. so no more thinking about it. no more at all. I can't stand the repulsion. its as if I'm beyond crying. which is a gift and a curse- now all I can do is think. dwell.

if only I had the energy to fight back instead of chain smoking. but that requires some character.